


Sunshine and Strength

by orphan_account



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, But I know about The Reveal, Canon Compliant, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Going back to my main project now, Goodnight team, I'm pretty sure it's Canon Compliant, I'm still in season 3, Kara must adjust her glasses unnecessarily at least once in every Supercorp scene I ever write, Lena sure has a lot on her mind, Sorry Not Sorry, anyway, them's the rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 00:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20769275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kara can only put off this conversation with Lena for so long. But this isn't how she imagined it was going to go...





	Sunshine and Strength

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to write Clexa, and Supercorp fell out. My bad. Have some angst and minor cute. Clexa still incoming.

_Lena Luthor: Is there something you'd like to tell me?_

Kara let the text sit unanswered for three days. There were a lot of things she wanted to tell Lena. Big things. Little things. World-altering alien things. Secrets one and all. Kara had the sick, sinking feeling that she knew exactly which of those things Lena was referring to, and she didn't have any idea what she was going to do about it. So she did nothing, and told no one, for a little longer than seventy two hours. And then, without fully realizing that she had made up her mind, she left for L-Corp.

Lena was in her office. Lena was always in her office at 6pm on a weekday unless she was with Kara, a fact which ordinarily drove Kara to frustration on behalf of a best friend for whom she wanted a more fulfilling life, but which today was a boon. It made Lena easy to find, and Kara needed easy. She needed easy because she suspected that when she saw Lena, things were going to become very, very difficult.

She stood outside of Lena's office now, waiting for Jess to give her the go-ahead. She could have just flown in through the balcony to get any lingering pretense out of the way, but somehow that didn't feel right. Kara was Lena's best friend, not Supergirl, and Kara had to be the one to show up at her door. So she waited, letting the long moments trickle by until the only thing that kept her from busting into that office to demand Lena let her get this over with already was a guilt so intense that Kara thought it might literally be weighing her down.

When Jess finally signaled that Kara was cleared to see Lena, she almost couldn't bring herself to do it. She pushed the door open a crack at first, and then had to take a deep breath before she could step all the way through it. Even then, she lingered just inside as the door clicked shut behind her, unwilling or unable to approach the figure that stood, back turned, at the far window.

Lena half turned, as if looking at Kara out of the corner of her eye, but wouldn't face her. She held a wine glass loosely in one hand, the other tucked into the pocket of her suit jacket. Kara wondered if it was cold. She wondered what it was she was supposed to say, and felt with every second ticking by that silence was worse than any words she might summon to her lips.

In the end, she forgot all the pretty opening lines she'd rehearsed in her mind over the last twenty four hours. What came out of her mouth was, "How did you know?" And she cringed a little, because those words of all words made it sound as though she wished her secret were still, well, secret. They didn't convey any of the relief she had been feeling. They didn't convey any of the regret.

Lena smiled that sad, pensive smile, her eyes on her wine glass. "Lex told me."

Kara nodded slowly. She had questions, but it didn't seem like the right time. "That's not how I wanted you to find out," she admitted.

Lena let out a single harsh note of laughter. "Oh, so you did want me to find out? Someday, when it was convenient for you? And when do you think that might have been? It isn't as though you've never had the opportunity to tell me the truth." She rounded on Kara as the wine glass, forgotten, slipped from her fingers to shatter on the floor. Kara flinched. Lena stood perfectly still, gaze unwavering, eyes dark.

It was the space of three heartbeats before Kara moved. There was broken glass all over the floor. Somehow, it was Kara's fault. Lena could have been hurt. Lena could still get hurt. She tried not to think about how hurt Lena already was. "Let me just-" she began, but Lena stopped her with a look.

"Don't."

And Kara pulled up short, rooted to the spot. She had of course imagined what might have happened if Lena had discovered her identity as Supergirl on accident. She had run the scenarios backwards and forwards in her mind, so that she'd be ready, just in case. But she wasn't ready, and all the lines she'd dreamed of for herself and for Lena were absent from the room where they stood.

"You know, the funny thing is," Lena said, her posture relaxing ever so slightly as she studied Kara's face, "I think I already knew. I mean reading glasses and a ponytail, that's not much of a disguise, is it? And Supergirl looks like you. She talks like you. She smells like you. She looks at me the way you do. But I didn't want to see it."

Kara wasn't sure at what point her mouth had gone dry. She reached up to adjust her glasses out of habit, realizing only belatedly that it was at best an ironic gesture in this context.

"The question is," Lena continued, taking a step towards Kara, "What did I stand to gain by denying it? I'm a Luthor, aren't I? I'm not phased by greatness. Supergirl doesn't scare me; she isn't irreconcilable with Kara Danvers. I can see them, two sides of the same coin, sunshine and strength. And why shouldn't it be that way?"

Lena paused for long enough that Kara wondered if she was expected to have an answer or if Lena would rather continue uninterrupted. "I- I don't know, Lena," was all she managed to choke out.

Lena took another, slow step forward. "Do you remember the day Morgan Edge put me on that plane? And it broke apart in Supergirl's hands. And I knew she couldn't hold both ends even before she said it, and she looked at me, and that's when I saw it."

Kara shifted her weight from one foot to the other, frowning. She wanted Lena to stop talking about Supergirl in the third person. She wanted to say, "I'm right here, Lena. You can just say it was me." Instead she said, "What did you see?"

Lena narrowed her eyes. "Supergirl would have done anything for me. She would have dropped Edge's chemicals into that reservoir just to spare my life."

Kara's eyes widened. She wanted to deny it. Of course she could have let Lena die to save thousands in National City from Edge's chemical bombing run. Of course she would have made the right choice. She'd made that choice with Mon-El; she'd have made it with Lena. But the truth was that there _had_ been a moment of hesitation, a moment of consideration. Maybe she could have saved Lena, and poisoned the water, and let the DEO and L-Corp sort it out after the fact. Maybe she could have written it off as a mistake. That side of the plane was heavier, after all. Maybe it could have just... slipped.

But Lena had taken the steps necessary to save herself, and Kara'd never had to choose. And now she was wondering.

"How many times do you think Supergirl has saved my life?" Lena asked. "Not indirectly, when she was busy saving the world. Directly. One on one."

Kara cleared her throat. "Oh, I don't know. A few."

"More than a few. Supergirl has a penchant for acting as my own personal savior. Often when it isn't a good idea. Often in the face of significant odds. Don't you think that's a little strange?"

"N-no, I think-"

"And eventually I realized that Supergirl was protective of me in the same way that I was protective of Kara Danvers, and I started to wonder."

Kara swallowed hard. Lena was standing at a normal conversational distance now, and somehow it was far too close for Kara's comfort. She wanted to hide. She didn't know what it was she wanted to hide from, but she wanted to be away, away, away. It took all of her self control to stay where she was and look Lena in the eye. But she could say nothing.

"I mean everyone is a little gay for Supergirl, aren't they?"

Kara could have sworn her heart had stopped. There were ways she'd hoped this conversation might go, and ways she'd worried this conversation might go, and then there was this.

"I-" Kara started, but Lena cut her off.

"I mean, who wouldn't love her? She's beautiful, and hot-headed, and kind. The strongest woman in the world, and the softest heart. Only for me, she's something more. She's the woman who will always be there to catch me when I fall. It's easy to admit to loving Supergirl."

Lena paused then, stepping directly into Kara's personal space, before adding, "It's harder to be in love with Kara Danvers."

Kara's heart was definitely beating now. She could feel it pounding in her ears, her fingers trembling. In love. Lena had said she was in love. With Kara. And Kara wanted to say something, anything, to turn Lena aside gently, to put a stop to this before it could go further, because something was rising inside of her that was as deeply thrilling as it was deeply uncomfortable.

But she couldn't. Because Lena was drawing a line between Kara and Supergirl that wasn't real, and with a burst of clarity Kara steered the conversation back onto topic. Or she tried to. But her mouth was a traitor.

"Kara Danvers would do anything for you," she whispered.

Lena lifted her chin a little in appraisal. "Would she?"

And then the words were tumbling out of Kara before she even quite knew what she was saying. "You know she would. She's been there- _I_ have been there. For you. When Supergirl couldn't have done anything for you, I was there. I was always there, when it was hard, when it was human and messy and difficult, Kara Danvers was there for you. And I wanted you to look at me and see that. I wanted you to see the best friend who was always going to show up for you, not the girl who always comes with fire in her eyes and a closed fist.

"And Supergirl is dangerous, Lena. She's a walking weapon. Everywhere she goes, trouble follows. You don't need more of that in your life. I wanted her to be there for you when there wasn't any other way, but damn it, Lena. I'm trying to- to-" But Kara didn't know what it was she was trying to do. She sucked in her bottom lip, suddenly feeling as though she'd confessed something, suddenly not sure what exactly it was that she'd said.

Lena studied her for a long moment. Kara wondered when she'd gotten so close, only inches away now as she reached out and ever so carefully pulled Kara's glasses from her face, only to drop them carelessly onto the floor.

"Who are you?" Lena asked, reaching around Kara's neck to tug at her hair tie. "When you're not Kara Danvers, and you're not Supergirl, who are you?"

"Kara Zor-El," Kara whispered as her hair tumbled onto her shoulders. Her breath caught in her throat as Lena undid the first button of her shirt, then the second, still meeting Kara's gaze. And then at last Lena looked down as she undid the third button and ran her fingertips over the collar of the supersuit hiding underneath.

"Kara Zor-El," Lena murmured.

Kara shivered. And then Lena's arms were draped around her neck, her mouth pressed to Kara's, and Kara froze, every inch of her body shaking as she fought to hold herself still, until Lena pulled away with a guarded expression.

"Was I wrong?" she asked. And then, when Kara couldn't answer her right away, "Are you afraid?"

Kara nodded. Lena started to pull back still further, and it took the space of a breath for Kara to realize what it was Lena thought she might be afraid of. And yes, yes she was afraid of what it meant to be kissing her best friend, the best friend who, lest she forget, had just confessed love for her right here not two minutes ago. Yes, she was afraid of the something that coiled and burned low in her stomach. Yes. But that wasn't the only thing.

"I'm afraid of hurting you," she admitted.

Lena's eyes lit with sudden understanding, and she smiled. "I've been in your arms a hundred times, Kara. No harm has come to me."

Kara thought about pointing out to Lena that she had never been physically out of control with her before, that she was afraid of losing herself in the moment and forgetting who she was. After all, she had been with no one since Mon-El, and there was more than one reason for her abstinence. She thought about telling Lena that she wasn't only afraid of hurting her physically. Kara had a lot of questions, new and gut-wrenching, about herself and her relationship to Lena. She was afraid of what she might find if she allowed herself to ask those questions, and whether the answers would be what Lena wanted to hear.

But she said none of those things. Lena moved in close to her again, and Kara ever so gently put her arms around her and pulled her closer still. Lena tangled her fingers in Kara's hair and leaned in for another kiss. This time, Kara allowed herself to relax. Her hand pressed lightly against the small of Lena's back until Lena sighed into her mouth and parted her lips. And to Kara's surprise as much as anyone's, it was Kara who swept her tongue across Lena's lower lip and into her mouth, shuddering at the taste of her, at the feel of Lena's tongue pushing back against hers until a soft moan escaped Kara's throat.

Lena's fingers tightened in her hair in response, and Kara let her push backwards step by step until she had Kara against the wall, the fingertips of her other hand tracing the tendons in Kara's neck, her jaw, her collarbone.

"Kara Zor-El," Lena breathed into Kara's mouth. "I am very, very angry with you. And very, very in love with you." And then she nipped Kara's lower lip so ineffectively that Kara almost laughed, until Lena's tongue was flickering over the pulse point in her neck and Kara found that laughter was the furthest thing from her mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at Oreoambitions for additional shenanigans.


End file.
